Local carers reveal 12 fostering messages of Christmas for the festive period

Christmas for some fostered children can be a daunting period, particularly if they are sharing it with a new family for the first time. They may feel slightly overwhelmed and surprised at how Christmas looks with a new family, especially if they have experienced trauma at that time of year previously.

Now Lancashire based Family Care Group, with its headquarters in Chorley, has worked with its carers to launch it’s 12 Fostering Messages of Christmas to highlight the importance of trying to make a foster child’s experience during the festive period that extra bit special if possible.

The 12 Fostering Messages of Christmas include:

• Make your child feel included, very much welcomed and part of the family

• Create new fun activities for your child to do at Christmas, or create a new family tradition.

• Let your child know it’s good to remember loved ones at Christmas that they may have lost in the past

• Give your child the space and time to talk about their own family at Christmas if they wish to.

• Remember that any gift,whether large or small can be very special for a foster child to receive, especially if it is their first Christmas with you.

• Give children the chance to do activities they really enjoy, whether it is making cakes, creating Christmas decorations etc

• Make time to do family things together if you can, whether it’s watching a movie, playing a board game etc

• Remember that if this is your foster child’s first Christmas with you, many experiences will be new so make positive memories for them if you can
• Let your child know he/she is very much part of your family’s plans for the new year

• If you have children of your own, make sure your foster child has the chance to share your Christmas celebrations with them.

• Let you foster child enjoy the warmth and build up to Christmas with a loving environment around them.

• If you’re thinking of fostering yourself in the new year then follow your instincts and go for it. Every day with a foster child is special, and Christmas time is one of the very best times you can share with them.

Foster carer Kay Mckenna from Nelson in Lancashire, said: “Christmas is a tricky time to navigate with new little ones in your home. It is natural to want to wrap them in love, gifts and to try and give them the best Christmas they've ever had but we must be mindful that this can be over whelming for them.

Kay adds: “it’s also important to remember to give a foster child the space to talk about their own family if they wish to. With one Christmas for example we had a young person whose dad had passed away, I had recently lost my mum too so we lit an advent candle every evening together to think about our parents in heaven. That was very special.”

Another carer, Jen Gibbons, from Stockport, believes understanding how a foster child feels at Christmas time is key to trying to make it enjoyable for them.

Jen said: “Understanding what Christmas means to a foster child is so important as it sometimes it is not necessarily what we think it will be. For some children it can bring memories of trauma and anxiety instead of joy.

“So as a carer at this time of year you need to be aware that for some children it can be very emotional for different reasons, especially if it's the first time not being with their birth family”.

Jen adds: “At our house the saying “ you don’t have to be blood to be family” is very important. Feeling connected, loved, cared for, heard and seen especially over Christmas time is often the most important thing for a child and it’s part of my role to try and make sure they can experience that.”

Tradition is something Jen uses each year to make her foster children feel completely included in a family Christmas

She said: “Sharing traditions with the family at Christmas are really important and we encourage our children to help with things like decorating the tree, put up decorations or help with preparing foods and treats if they want to.”

Foster carer Amanda Winkle, who lives on the Wirral in Cheshire says stability at Christmas is crucially important for foster children, particularly if they have experienced stress or trauma at that time of year previously.

Amanda said: “Christmas can be such a big thing for my foster children, just knowing they have that stability and support around them yet can still stay connected to their family.

“Some children I have had may have even felt guilty for being happier in their foster home at Christmas but I have always been quick to reassure them that its ok to be happy here and to miss your own family at the same time.”

Learn more about how to become a foster carer here: www.family-care.co.uk/fostering