My world fell apart when a drunk-driver killed my dad - now I'm doing the Great North Run to make him proud
As thousands of participants lace up their shoes and put on their vests for the Great North Run next month, one Lancashire woman will be carrying something special with her - a picture of her dad, who was tragically killed when she was just nine years old.
It is in his memory that she will be running and also raising awareness of children and young people’s bereavement charity Winston’s Wish.
Helen Clarke explains, “On a dark November day in 1981, my world changed forever. Nine-year-old me came down the stairs bleary-eyed to a house full of close family. In my heart, I knew there was something massively wrong. Mum told me my dad was dead, and I wouldn’t see him again.
“He had been killed by a drunk driver. I can remember that moment like it was yesterday, and it still takes my breath away even when I think about it now, 44 years on. It is branded into my heart, and every time I recollect it, I feel the pain in my chest from the catastrophic shock of that day. The next week, my brother and I were back at school, and we were just expected to cope.
“I idolised my dad; we were the best of pals. We did lots of outdoor activities together, one of which was running. Dad was a fell runner, and on practice nights with the local association, we’d run around the town green as he warmed up for his fell run. I’d struggle to keep up, but he’d encourage me. I can still see him smiling down at me now, running alongside.
“I remember watching the first London Marathon with Dad, and him telling me how fantastic it was and that one day he would like to run a big city race.”
She added: “When you’ve lost a parent, everything really does fall apart. My childhood was filled with worry and anxiety about things kids shouldn’t have to worry about. Mum was depressed and struggling to function.
“Days out didn’t feel right, holidays felt lonely as I looked on at other families with both mum and a dad having fun. Christmas was sad. New Year was worse, another one without him. There was a massive hole that couldn’t be filled. I also lost my only sibling, my 19-year-old brother, when I was 22.
Chris Evans Breakfast Show
“It has been in my mind since my dad died that I have wanted to run a race to make him proud of his daughter. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve tried to learn to run; there’s been many, many failed attempts. In the Spring of last year, I’d been listening to the Chris Evans Breakfast show, and their team had just completed the London Marathon. Their enthusiasm for running made me download the Couch-to-5k appand have a bash at this running lark one final time
“I had read about Winston’s Wish online, and the first time I came across their webpage, I sobbed! Proper sobbed my heart out! Because there was someone, someone out there for the broken nine-year-old that lives inside of me. Children who were experiencing my kind of grief were able to receive compassionate support atWinston’s Wish. I now knew who I would run a race in memory of my dad for. I had my charity!”
Winston’s Wish
The Great North Run will mark Helen’s second run for the charity, having previously completed the Manchester 10K as part of her ‘Running with Dad’ series. Estimates suggest that every 20 minutes a parent dies in the UK, and that figure doesn’t equate how many young people are navigating the death of a sibling, friend or other significant individual.
Winston’s Wish is the UK’s first children and young people’s bereavement charity and supports children and young adults, up to the age of 25, when somebody special to them dies. Last year alone, the charity supported and directly impacted the lives of more than 82,000 grieving young people.
Helen added: “In training for Winston’s Wish, I have pushed myself to my absolute limit. But I am pushing myself for that grieving child that still resides inside of me. And with every step of every training run, that nine-year-old girl within is healed a little bit more.
“I’m filled with nervous excitement for the Great North Run, my Running with Dad part 2, but I know it will be a privilege to run this iconic race with dad’s photo on my Winston’s Wish vest and with him in my heart too, chugging round the course for the deserving young people who are supported by the work of Winston’s Wish. And as I raise my arms as I cross the finish line, I will feel incredibly lucky.”
Get help
Winston’s Wish is keen to reassure bereaved young people and their families that they are welcome to chat online, email or call for free to speak to a bereavement support worker by calling 08088 020 021, emailing [email protected] or using the live chat at winstonswish.org.