My son set himself on fire and my daughter was tormented please let them rest in peace
A Fylde coast woman has taken the unprecedented step of asking if her late first husband’s grave can be moved out of her family’s cemetery plot.
Sheila Rothwell, 77, tragically lost her two children to premature deaths and says she blames her first husband for causing the upset which spiralled things out of control.
Her son, Ian, suffered serious mental health issues and, in the midst of his torment, set fire to himself on Blackpool’s North Pier in 2006.
Despite their best efforts, experts at Wythenshawe Hospital’s Burns Centre could not save him and he died that year, aged just 28.
Sheila’s daughter, Julie, also suffered with mental health issues and died suddenly, aged just 40, in 2019.
Sheila believes both of them would be alive today had the family not been torn apart.
Her family plot is in a cemetery in Wyre.
She says she has approached Wyre Council to help her get her first husband’s grave moved away to Bacup in Rossendale, where he always told her he had a plot ready to be alongside his own parents.
She says she was horrified when she realised he was not to be buried in Bacup - instead he had arranged for a plot right next to her son, daughter and second husband, and next to where she aso plans to be buried.
The grandmother said: “If that man had not behaved in the awful way he did, towards me and my daughter, I believe all the things we all went through would have been avoided.
“It caused such trauma that it affected all three of us in different ways.
“It affected my mental health and that of the two children.
“Now, every time I go to pay my respects, I see my first husband’s name on the gravestone right next to them, described as “a genteman”.
“He was anything but a gentleman to us.”
Wyre Council says a certain process needs to be followed to move a grave.
Kathy Winstanley, Assistant Director of Environmental Services said: “Wyre Council, as the Burial Authority, do not have the authority to grant a request for exhumation.
“Requests for an exhumation licence need to be made to the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) by the next of kin (or appropriate other).
“Once this is supplied and we have agreed to the request, we can then forward the application on to the MOJ for consideration.
“Applications, made for private family reasons on behalf of the next of kin, will, subject to any other necessary consents, normally be considered sympathetically.
“Applicants also need to give details of what they intend to do with the remains following the exhumation, including written permission where appropriate. They also need to meet all associated costs.”