I was pushed to verge of suicde by my perfect man who turned into my controlling ex

The victim claimed she was pushed to the verge of suicide by Dean Sirmond’s violent outbursts sparked by jealous rage and his increasing use of alcohol and cocaine.

She alleged he threatened to murder her and on one occasion held a knife to her throat. He even threatened to burn the family home down.

Preston Crown Court heard the 33-year-old told her how to dress, who she could associate with and constantly accused her of having affairs with men at work.

In the end she quit her job to appease him and admitted: “He made me feel so trapped. I felt there was no way out of the relationship.”

Sirmond, of Rydal Avenue, Blackpool was jailed for more than two years after pleading guilty to two charges of coercive and controlling behaviour.

Judge Richard Gioserano: “Even now you don’t really admit what you have done and express genuine remorse for it.”

He imposed a restraining order on Sirmond banning him from making any contact with his victim for the next five years.

Andrew Gurney, prosecuting, said the couple got together in 2019 and at first the relationship was fine. She described him as the “perfect partner”.

But soon things began to deteriorate and by 2020 Sirmond was being aggressive, violent and abusive. His behaviour got worse during Covid lockdown when he turned more to booze and drugs.

Despite this the couple had two children together to add to the three the woman already had. All five witnessed loud arguments in the home on a regular basis over a period of more than four years.

The mother revealed the abuse, which she claimed on two occasions ended with Sirmond grabbing her around the throat, had a major impact on her mental health. She said he threatened to have her children taken into care if she reported him to police.

In a victim statement read to the court she said that “on paper” he seemed the perfect partner. However things started to change when she became pregnant with their first child and she started to see a different side of him.

She suffered from post-natal depression, yet she had to put on a front to the world that everything was fine.

“The arguments started to become worse – I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “I don’t know why I stayed so long in the relationship. I had no freedom.

“He tried to convince me everything was my fault and I was the one who needed sectioning. I started to have thoughts of taking my own life because of the way he made me feel.

“I have trust issues with people now. I feel so guilty about my children seeing what happened.”

The court heard Sirmond had an “unenviable” criminal record which included previous convictions for assault and harassment. He had only pleaded guilty to the two charges of coercive and controlling behaviour at the very last minute once a trial had already begun.

Francis McEntee, defending, said this was a story of “a very unhealthy relationship which has now come to an end”.

“He recognises that his past is now catching up with him.”

He said that one of the children had told police that her mother was “always starting arguments”.

“She was the spark to his powder keg – an unstable mix of his paranoia stoked by alcohol and cocaine.”

He argued that the threat to burn down to house was the result of “an intoxicated irrational man responding to the slightest provocation”.

Ironically one of the arguments, which resulted in Sirmond punching holes in a door, had been ignited by an argument over a game of Frustration.

Mr McEntee said that since the couple had split up more than two years ago Sirmond had been in a stable relationship with another woman who was in court to support him. She had seen a different side to him and was prepared to give him a home when he was released from prison.

“I don’t stand here to say he is a different man. No. But he is taking steps to become a different man.

“She (new partner) knows all his past history. Two-and-a-half years without further trouble may be the first crumb of hope for Mr Sirmond.

“The defendant has now come to recognise his use of alcohol and drugs was problematic. He accepts his paranoia led to claims of infidelity (to his previous partner).”

Mr McEntee added that Sirmond had managed to regulate and control his problems in his new relationship.

“He says he is now sober. He is not the person he was two-and-a-half years ago.

“He has told me: ‘I know I am unable to change the past’ but he assures you of his 100 per cent determination to go forward.”

Directed at his former partner, who was also in court for the hearing, Mr McEntee said Sirmond had told him: ‘I possess no malice. I wish her well in the future. I wish things had not turned out the way they did – and for that I am truly sorry.’”

Judge Gioserano told Sirmond: “It seems from the content of a pre-sentence report that you still don’t really, actually, admit it. You pleaded guilty, finally, because you realised you had to face what you had done.

“You left your plea of guilty very late. I can’t see any genuine recognition of the harm you have caused.”

He said the sentence had to recognise his record of previous convictions and also the impact of his behaviour on the children who witnessed it.

“You caused fear and violence on many occasions. It caused very serious distress on her and significant psychological harm.”

But he gave him credit for the fact that he had not reoffended since the relationship ended more than two years ago.

“You have moved on to another relationship and your new partner is seeing a different man. It comes as no consolation to your previous partner that your current partner is seeing a different man.

“It is tragic that she must now suffer the consequences of your behaviour towards your former partner.”

He sent Sirmond to prison for a total of two years and three months.