The campaign has been created and launched by widows Heather Smith and Nicky Wake, each of whom has endured the heartbreak of losing their partner and the emotional weight of navigating Christmas during grief. United by their lived experience, they have come together to share support, guidance and hope with others who are facing the season without the person they love.
Both women are board members of The Widowed Collective, the free, peer-to-peer support organisation founded earlier this year. The group is backing the campaign by sharing widows and widowers’ stories, advice and resources throughout December, and inviting people across the UK to join the conversation using #WidowedAtChristmas.
Rawtenstall-based Heather Smith, 37, met her husband Stuart in 2011. They married in 2013 and had two children, Georgia and Toby. In 2020, Stuart was diagnosed with kidney cancer. After a year of treatment, he died in July 2021, just three days before their daughter’s seventh birthday. At the time, their son was only two. Heather found herself widowed at 33, raising two young children and trying to navigate the silence left by a man who had been the joyful centre of their family.
Heather said, “Stuart was Christmas. He loved everything about it, the cooking, the silliness, the magic. He was the life and soul of it all. Our first Christmas without him was devastating. It was pure survival. I tried so hard for the kids and for the grandparents, but inside I was completely broken. Friends meant well, but they were wrapped up in their own family Christmases and I felt more alone than ever.
I wish I had reached out sooner. Finding my widow ‘tribe’ saved me. Young widowhood is excruciatingly lonely, but once you find people who truly get it, everything starts to feel a little lighter. Nearly five years on, I have begun creating new traditions while honouring the old ones. Our lives look different now, but there is still joy, and Stuart would have wanted that.
My advice to anyone facing Christmas after losing their partner is take the pressure off. Do whatever helps you get through the day. If all you manage is surviving it, that is enough. When you feel ready, reach out, because there is a whole community here waiting for you, and you don’t have to go through this alone.”
Bury-based Nicky Wake, 53, who runs Rawtenstall-based company Don’t Panic Events, lost her husband Andy in 2020, three years after he suffered a catastrophic heart attack and cardiac arrest in 2017 which left him with a severe brain injury. After years of complications, hospital stays and specialist care, Nicky spent multiple Christmases navigating uncertainty while parenting their son Finn alone, until Andy died in a neurocare facility at the age of 57. His loss reshaped her life and ultimately inspired her to create The Widowed Collective so that others would never feel as isolated as she had.
Nicky said, “Christmas changed forever the year Andy died. The pressure to be festive when your heart is in pieces is enormous. Every song, every advert, every empty chair feels like a reminder of what you’ve lost. That’s why we created #WidowedAtChristmas, to offer a moment of solidarity, of honesty, and to remind people that whatever they’re feeling, they don’t need to carry it alone.
I remember Andy as warm, wickedly funny and deeply loving, the kind of dad who made every tradition feel magical. Christmas has a way of magnifying grief, but it can also magnify connection. Nobody understands a widow like another widow, and that sense of community can be life-changing.
My advice to anyone facing their first Christmas without their partner is take it hour by hour. Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to perform joy or match anyone else’s expectations. Do whatever feels manageable, and please know that you are not alone.”
Launched earlier this year, The Widowed Collective provides free peer-to-peer support for anyone who has lost a romantic partner. It offers a moderated online community, practical guidance on legal matters, finances, solo parenting and wellbeing, and a growing programme of online and in-person meet-ups across the UK.
Open to widowed people of all ages, genders, sexual identities and marital statuses, the organisation provides a safe, stigma-free space led entirely by those with lived experience. Its board is made up exclusively of widows and widowers, ensuring every aspect of the organisation reflects the realities of life after loss.
In December, The Widowed Collective is also launching free online weekly drop-in sessions for widows and widowers, taking place every Monday evening, including during Christmas week.
For more information about #WidowedAtChristmas, or to join The Widowed Collective for free, visit www.TheWidowedCollective.com, find The Widowed Collective on Facebook, or follow @TheWidowedCollective on Instagram.
