Last week daughter #1 did the big shop all by herself. No, really. The boss wrote a list, checked it twice, and the next day our 19-year-old daughter drove to the supermarket, filled up a trolley, used her mum’s bank card to pay for it and then drove home with it all in the boot.
I know, it’s incredible isn’t it? A teenager actually helping around the house as opposed to creating extra work for mum and dad to do. I don’t know why this amazing news is buried in the middle of the paper, it should be the front page lead - “Teenager does big shop... without being asked”. And then, if that wasn’t astounding enough, two days later she cooked dinner for us all - a very tasty vegetable stir fry.
The former devout carnivore has been a strict vegetarian ever since she spent three months travelling around South America and saw what some people class as “meat” two miles up in the air in Bolivia, where they eat what we take toddlers to cuddle in petting zoos. Sadly for daughter #1, she’s just like yours truly at that age. Never in, always out and keeping the hours of a nocturnal alley cat.
Last weekend saw the Parklife festival in Manchester. And Manchester being Manchester, the summer weather was biblical. Sensible things to wear at events like that are a poncho (yeah, I know, but they work), wellies and anything you’d be happy burning afterwards.
But no. Someone with the brains to study law at one of the country’s top universities and who trekked around South America for three months and came back in one piece, thought a pair of white Stan Smith Adidas trainers, hot pants that barely covered her backside and a long-sleeved mesh top that Martin Gore from Depeche Mode would’ve rejected in the 80s for being a bit much was apparently perfectly acceptable attire for a day out at a rain-lashed mudheap.
She was wrong. And like what always happens when kids get in over their heads, the phone rings for a taxi.
They’d spent the night at an Airbnb but were too caked in mud to get a train home.
This week she’s in Crete with nine of her friends. It’s like The Inbetweeners Movie but with hair straighteners.