Only a dummy shares the views of Trump
As one pedals relentlessly through life, it is vital to take stock once in awhile just to make sure you don't go over the handlebars.
The tactic I use to ensure I have not veered completely off course is to ask myself what others would do when faced with a similar predicament.
These human benchmarks are almost always people who I would consider playing dead to avoid: UKIP members, Big Brother contestants, anyone with a tattooed face and Southampton supporters.
My rule is to do exactly the opposite to them and, generally speaking, it should mean I keep my nose clean. In the past few months, there has only been one person who I have needed to hold a mirror up to – the man who stands a very real chance of becoming the leader of the free world, Donald Trump. With his every utterance, I become more and more convinced we are from different planets.
His pledge to build a giant wall to keep Mexicans out, his Stone Age views on women, not to mention his inability to take any form of criticism, have made for a bewildering US presidential race but it was his reaction to a crying baby which will stick in the memory of many.
To his critics, his request for a mum and her wailing offspring to be removed from one of his tiresome public appearances was an example of how out of touch he really is with the rest of the world. There cannot be a more natural sound in the world and nobody with even a smidgen of empathy can take umbrage, can they?
The trouble is Trump isn’t on his own when it comes to intolerance to screaming sprogs and, as much as I was aghast at his behaviour during the speech in Virginia, I am sure there was a body of people across who will have tutted “Who takes a baby to a political rally?”
As someone with a one-year-old, I am pretty relaxed when it comes to other people’s children crying but am all too aware that this view is not shared by everybody.
It is why most parents of young children never leave the house without at least four dummies, a box of sugar-free snacks and a bag full of toys – anything which will prevent a meltdown.
While I do understand that it is increasingly difficult to enjoy a bit of peace and quiet, next time you feel your blood boil due to the crying little one at the next table, remember that is exactly how Donald Trump would react.