Who's The Daddy: Why wait until December? Festive chaos arrives early in our house
Christmas has come early - literally - in our house this year, but entirely out of necessity.
Daughter #2 flies back to the US in a few short weeks for her third stint working on a cruise ship that sails out of Miami that’s around the size and population of a thriving town (quarter of a mile long, 10,000 passengers and crew).
Thanks to some changes in the US recently that you might have heard about on the news, sending parcels there has suddenly become ruinously expensive, to the point where it was quicker and cheaper to hand Daughter #2 her gifts in mid-September while she’s here.
Always with an eye for a bargain (that’s my girl!) she picked out something that looks like it’s from the future - a Kindle that you can write with that turns your scrawl into a typeface - but got £150 off the ticket price by buying one second hand/dinged box from a reputable seller.
Daughter #2 posted a picture of herself holding what looks like a prop from Black Mirror on our family WhatsApp and in no time at all, the default setting of sibling rivalry kicked in and Daughter #1 posted, “Why’s she got that now?” 25, with a job, car, boyfriend and flat in the leafiest part of Manchester, but it never leaves you, does it?
We’re planning a Christmas dinner in early October, with crackers, tinsel, jumpers, chestnuts roasting on an open fire and all that before Daughter #2 boards a plane to the never-ending sunshine (two five-month tours to date and she’s never worn a coat) in the middle of next month.
But before Santa arrives in the Caribbean, Daughter #2 has her hands full with other celebrations which our American cousins go all out for. Halloween (basically Christmas 2), Thanksgiving, then the big day itself and New Year’s Eve after that.
What with Daughter #2 being just short of 6ft, and what with a lot of her colleagues who spend their days entertaining 2,000 kids a week being from the Philippines, when the whole team dress up as elves for the kids’ amusement, our youngest looks like Will Ferrell’s Buddy at the North Pole.
We’ve also bought Daughter #2 Christmas Eve pyjamas, but she’ll be taking those with her in one her two massive suitcases the size of a small hatchback when she jets off in just over three weeks.
This has been mentioned before but you should always be very careful what you wish for because is has an odd habit of coming true.
The Boss always wanted to raise strong, independent girls. Daughter #1 backpacked around South America for three months a few weeks after her 19th birthday and post-uni built a life for herself in Manchester, while her little sister moved out aged 16 to study at LIPA Sixth Form, then did a degree there, before swanning off around the Caribbean for five months. Twice. And next month it’ll be three. Is that strong and independent enough for you?
Anyway, must dash. I need to nip out and panic buy some sprouts.
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