Who's the Daddy: Party tricks are different now

Daughter No.1 has arranged her 21st birthday party for next month, which came as a bit of a surprise to everyone who knows her seeing as how she’s 22 in three weeks.

Saturday, 30th October 2021, 3:45 pm
Who's the Daddy

This time last year she, and hundreds of thousands just like her, missed out on a proper celebration of the last landmark birthday you’re actually happy about because of Covid-19 lockdowns.

After 21 it’s 30, then it’s 40, then it’s 50, and, oh my God, I think I’ll stop it right there thank you very much.

So daughter No.1 booked and paid for a room for her 21+1 party (yep, that’s what it’s actually called) with a bar and music where, along with around 50 of her closest friends – and me and the boss to bring the average age up a few notches – will drink and dance the night away.

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Kids today have missed out on a lot of things we took for granted. Like having a life when you’re in your absolute prime. I’m willing to wager that Covid-19 times and lockdowns had little or no impact on the social lives of most people over 40.

You didn’t have one before, so what makes you think one’s going to magically appear now?

Back in the day yours truly was more or less feral. Sleep, food, money and work didn’t really matter so much. Going out – what’s now known as “out out” – four nights a week certainly did.

These days we get our kicks from watching Morecambe FC, a raggedy band of blokes of a certain age turning up half an hour before kick-off for a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon at the football. And if we get terrace tickets, that means I can stand up and do the back exercises the osteopath gave me to realign my wonky hips for 90 minutes.

Thankfully, it only involves dropping one knee slightly for 10 seconds, then the other while keeping your hips level (repeated as many times as you like) and not the exercise where you tip your pelvis to and fro, which to the untrained eye makes you look like a pervert and would trigger a lifetime ban from every football ground in the country and 10 years on the sex offenders’ register.