Who's The Daddy: Have fun this Christmas without getting into debt

That time of year when we buy presents for people we don’t like, that they don’t want, with money we haven’t really got, and then worry ourselves sick about how we’re going to pay for it all.

Apologies for this somewhat jaundiced view of our annual jamboree of reckless consumerism but, for the first time in living memory, we’ve all got an “out”.The cost-of-living crisis, brought about in no small part by Liz Truss’ ruinous month-and-a-half as PM, means no one in your family who is old enough to watch the news is expecting miracles this year.Without wishing to sound like Martin Lewis, who does this for a living very well, for the love of God don’t get yourself any deeper into debt this month by heroically bankrolling your family’s Christmas.Credit cards are the invention of Satan and should only be used in a life-or-death emergency, which December 25 is not. Be honest, emergencies don’t generally appear on the kitchen calendar 12 months in advance.Think about your most cherished Christmas memory (cue the opening bars of Fairytale Of New York) and I’ll wager it has nothing to do with expensive presents or fancy dinners.For example, our family’s go-to festive anecdote is them crying laughing as my sister’s bull-like Labrador tried to hump me to death while I was sleeping off a heavy Christmas lunch.Another is daughter #2, aged about three, spending Christmas Day in a cat costume with a bright red face after she found a bottle of aftersun in a cupboard and smeared it on like the Moon in The Mighty Boosh. Honestly, she looked like a Brit in Mallorca for days.Present amnesties and gift limits are a wonderful notion. I’d be terribly offended if anyone considered us to be “tight” but the grown-ups in our family haven’t bought for each other since the Millennium Bug was all over the news. A firm handshake and the clink of a glass full of something nice is more than enough.Even me and the boss have an agreed figure and if the budget is busted then serious questions are asked. Unlike Kwasi Kwarteng (remember that clown?) we don’t bypass our Office for Budget Responsibility. Only a clueless, arrogant idiot who didn’t have a clue what they were doing would pull that stunt.