Who's The Daddy: Chippy tea awaits as Christmas 2 is put on hold

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Christmas 2 is cancelled. Well, postponed for a week after Daughter #2’s return from a six-month tour of duty working on a cruise ship that floats around the Caribbean was extended by seven days after her boss asked her to stay on.

If nothing else, it gives us a few more days to sew the last few thousand sequins on our glitzy cowboy outfits and the 30ft “Welcome Home” banner that we’ll be carrying when we meet her at the arrivals gate at the airport next week. Can’t wait to see the look on her face!

Daughter #2 says helping her boss out over this means she’ll have more of a say over her next contract, and it’s a week’s extra money, and all the turkey and the pigs in blankets (no, not the relatives outstaying their welcome over Christmas in the spare room) are in the freezer ready for a belated family Christmas dinner, so why not? Anything to escape a week of January in England. Ask yourself this question, where would you rather be?

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There’s no getting away from it, when Daughter #2 does eventually land, the weather will be the biggest shocker. She hasn’t even felt the cold since last spring, and even though last summer here in England wasn’t exactly golden, it didn’t go dark at 4.30pm like it does now.

Fish and chip supper. Photo: AdobeFish and chip supper. Photo: Adobe
Fish and chip supper. Photo: Adobe

The places Daughter #2 has called home since last August are where we pay thousands to go on holiday and, biblical hurricanes aside, the temperatures rarely dip below the mid-20s. I’m guessing there’ll be a period of hibernation before any acclimatisation.

Not being at work will take some getting used to though, after 160-plus days of graft in a row on the ship, with an easier three-shift pattern running from 8-10am, 1.45-5.30pm and to cap it off, 6.45-11.30pm.

It’s the main reason we didn’t go out to see her for a week on a (ever so slightly) discounted family cruise. We’d never see her because she’s working all the time.

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And anyway, remember that time one of your parents turned up, actually in person, at your work that wasn’t because of a family emergency, just to say hello because they were passing? Course you do, it’ll be one of your final memories your brain has selected on your highlights reel as your life flashes before your eyes in the minutes before you die!

Social media, which is usually a curse, is a blessing when one of your kids is working 4,500 miles away for six months. Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp and TikTok (until it went dark for a few hours last week) have been the communication methods of choice. That and FaceTime, but the internet is ruinously expensive at sea. So there hasn’t been loads of that.

So, like Daughter #2’s departure only took place at the second time of asking (thanks to Hurricane Debby), her arrival has been delayed for roughly the same time. I’m guessing it’ll be a chippy tea when she gets home, they don’t really serve that in Miami.

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