Spinning around with my new love | Nicola Adam column

I have a new love in my life and she’s a looker.
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Call me easily- pleased but following my recent house move, I have finally achieved the nadir for a grown-up who desires the maximum soft and fluffiness in their life and lockdown and that’s a tumble dryer, inside the house.

What is probably pretty much standard for most of you remains a novelty for me as for most of my adult life, due to a series of homes without space and technical difficulties, I have instead struggled with clothes lines, cardboard clothes on radiators, and knackered tumble dryer that fail to actually dry anything once installed in the garage.I mean, they have one job.

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My love is greedy, gobbling up energy, and is inexplicably noisy with a sideline in musical theatre.

Tumble dryer of dreamsTumble dryer of dreams
Tumble dryer of dreams

She plays far too long tunes to indicate she’s starting, she’s stopping and she need her water emptying. It’s very hard to shut her up.

I’m basically a full-time parent to a sleek, grey, highly strung child. Like small people, she is given to interrupting news conferences as I tap away in the kitchen, by complaining she’s collected too much fluff or proudly proclaiming her achievements.

But right now, I’d forgive anything. I’d forgotten towels can actually be soft on first use and not imbued with the texture of a metal cheese grater and that water can actually be spun away, rather than collecting at the bottom of the drum.

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Whenever I feel mildly irritated at the rendition of her latest tune, I remember the time I decided to try and dry clothes on a winter’s evening and on tiptoeing across the icy decking to the garage, slipped and nearly broke my neck.

I wouldn’t mind but my clothes weren’t even dry after that adventure, they just spent three hours spinning away merrily and driving up my electric bill before requiring extensive radiator-hanging which rendered them unwearable.

So my new machine may be demanding, but at least she’s not dangerous.

And not having something for a very long time makes your appreciate it when you do. Even if she will never make the final of Britain's Got Talent.