Review: Location, Location, Location is not the cure for the current housing madness, and it seems Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp have realised

The housing market is crazy right now. But look, here are are Kirstie and Phil and Location, Location, Location (Channel 4, Weds, 9pm) to help us make sense of it.
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Or not, as it turns out. Despite their obvious expertise and their bricks-and-mortar-based banter, these two property prophets still don’t seem to be able to answer the essential questions – how do you actually buy a house if, when you’ve finally saved up enough money for a deposit, the prices have risen 15 or 20 per cent?

Meanwhile, if people can’t afford to get on the first rung of the property ladder, how do those already on it move up?

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At the moment it seems as though there are lots of people at the bottom of the ladder – young, starting careers and families – and a heap of property speculators at the top, with a few people trying to hang on to the their middle rung.

Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer from Location, Location, LocationKirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer from Location, Location, Location
Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer from Location, Location, Location

Whatever the situation, rising interest rates might be the push at the top of the ladder which will cause the whole shaky edifice to come tumbling down.

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Even Phil and Kirstie seem to be having misgivings about it all, telling us of the “ red-hot” or “super-inflated” market, while Kirstie even lets the mask slip, saying “it can’t go on like this, it’s ridiculous”.

Even so, they gaily find houses for property-seekers with Granny’s inheritance or £600,000 in savings – that’s all of us right? Right? – and the market swings on.

Andor star Diego Luna, who plays Cassian Andor, walks back to his trailer during filming for the Star Wars spin-off in CleveleysAndor star Diego Luna, who plays Cassian Andor, walks back to his trailer during filming for the Star Wars spin-off in Cleveleys
Andor star Diego Luna, who plays Cassian Andor, walks back to his trailer during filming for the Star Wars spin-off in Cleveleys
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It all changed when ‘homes’ became ‘properties’ and everything became an investment, not a place to live.

This show is a symptom, not the cause, but it does nothing to find a cure to our housing madness.

I was a bit slow on the uptake, but Andor (Disney+, new episodes Weds) has been a revelation after the disappointing Star Wars sagas of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Book of Boba Fett. With more of an emphasis on human relationships and the corrupting effects of conformity and bureaucracy, it’s worth a watch – if only to spot Cleveleys seafront.

It may have passed you by, but the World Cup starts on Sunday, and as a preview to the sorry saga we had Rob and Romesh Vs… The Three Lions (Sky Max, Weds, 9pm). A superficial high-five to the England team, it was barely worthy of the Northern Premier League. Watch FIFA Uncovered on Netflix instead.

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