Blaise Tapp: I’m fed up of the cold and longing for some warmer weather

We've now reached the time of year when we're normally out in our back gardens, getting them in shape for summer.
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In previous years, I've been known to get the dreaded barbecue from its winter quarters at the beginning of May, but not this year. 2024 is likely to be remembered for a number of reasons although it certainly won't go down in history for its glorious spring, in fact it might actually be known as the year that didn't have a spring at all.Usually by now, Mrs Tapp has packed the family's big coats away into one of her array of storage boxes which she seems to have for all occasions. Not this year; our youngest is still going to school dressed like Scott of the Antarctic, while gloves and bobble hats are very much still a thing.We're still having casseroles for tea and it was so parky on Sunday that I even knocked up a vat of parsnip soup in a bid to keep the cold at bay. It didn't work. It's been so chilly that, in an unprecedented move, I've relaxed my usually hard line on not having the central heating on between the end of March and mid-October and the fire is still in regular action. Socks in bed are also still a thing.Seeing middle-aged chaps like me in shorts at this time of year is usually a common sight, but those who've decided to get their legs out in recent weeks are likely to have been dismissed as eccentrics or northerners. Tomasz Schafernaker - you know, the cheerful weatherman with a penchant for snazzy suits - is teasing us with the promise of milder temperatures but who knows when they will come our way.I've reached an age which means it is unwise to wish one's life away but I long for the summer days when I am able to queue 30 minutes for an eye wateringly expensive 99 with flake and complain about the cost of parking at our nearest beach.Forget fishing and football, moaning about the weather is the nation's favourite pastime but the bleak forecasts have left us with nothing to say to complete strangers as we wait to use the self checkout, other than 'it;s another cold one'. I have no idea why the weather has been so miserable thus far - I'll leave people with letters after their names to explain - but what I do know is that it's probably only a matter of months before we start whinging about it being too hot.