All I want is to be a mum but Lancashire NHS officials say I can't have IVF as my partner already has children

Ashleyann Bray from Blackpool said she has been left devastated after being told she is not eligible for NHS-funded IVF because her partner already has children, despite her having none herself.

Ashleyann Bray, 28, has always dreamed of becoming a mum. After struggling to conceive naturally she and her partner were referred for IVF due to male-factor infertility.

After waiting nearly two years for tests and consultations she believed they were finally close to taking the next step.

Instead, she says she was told at the very end of her appointment that they were not eligible for treatment.

Ashleyann said: “I was sat there for barely 10 minutes and they told me my tests were fine, my health was fine, and then right at the end they said I wasn’t eligible because my partner already has two children.

“It was the most horrendous feeling I’ve ever felt. It felt like being told I’m not allowed to have children.

“I love his kids, but being a step-parent is not the same as carrying a child, giving birth, or having that legal and emotional bond. That’s something I grieve every day.”

Under the current policy set by the NHS Lancashire and South Cumbria Integrated Care Board, anyone living in Lancashire is not eligible for NHS-funded IVF treatment if either the or their partner has a living child from the current or any previous relationship.

Ashleyann says she meets all other eligibility criteria, including age and health requirements, but feels the policy fails to consider the childless partner.

Ashleyann said: “I’m younger than my partner, I’m healthy, I met all the criteria - apart from that one rule. It doesn’t take me into account at all.”

Private IVF is the only remaining option, but Ashley says the cost, which starts at around £3,000, is completely out of reach.

Ashleyann said: “We don’t have the funds, we can’t even take out a loan. It feels like a dead end.”

She plans to appeal the decision but has been warned it is unlikely to succeed.

By speaking out, Ashleyann hopes to highlight what she calls a “postcode lottery” that is leaving many women childless through no fault of their own.

Ashley said: “There are so many women going through this quietly, all we want is the chance to become mums.

“Infertility and IVF are still spoken about in whispers. Most couples endure this journey behind closed doors, carrying grief, hope, and repeated disappointment in silence.

“By speaking out about something so deeply private to our family, I hope to have a positive impact on others facing the same struggle - to let them know they are not alone.

“This silence needs to be broken and the system need to change.”

A spokesperson from Lancashire and South Cumbria Integrated Care Board said: “Due to patient confidentiality, we are unable to comment on individual cases.

“However, we can say that decisions, such as this one, will be in line with the eligibility criteria of the Assisted Conception policy for Lancashire and South Cumbria.

“This will be based on clinical advice and best practice and follows the principles of NICE guidance.”