This is one of 700 jokes which will be included in a new book to brighten up the day of residents at a Halton care home.
Julie Evans, an activity coordinator at St Wilfrids Hall Nursing Home, has been overwhelmed with joke entries from the public.
After appealing on social media for jokes, Julie received hundreds of one-liners, some usable, some not.
“I had this little idea and it has just grown and grown,” said Julie, who has worked at St Wilfrids for four years.
“I started telling jokes to residents and they really enjoyed it so I thought what about if I made a pamphlet, then I put it on Facebook to ask for ideas and I got about 700 jokes.
“Some of them if I don’t understand, my residents wont understand, but the majority are very usable.”
St Wilfrids, on Foundry Lane, is home to 34 people and can house 41 in total.
Julie’s job involves making sure residents are happy and fulfilled by engaging them in various activities.
“I enjoy just knowing that I have made somebody’s day, whether it is by a joke, talking to them or holding their hand,” said Julie.
“It is a very stressful job, sometimes it can be unrewarding but other times very rewarding.”
Telling jokes has become part of Julie’s routine before she begins activities which include crosswords, puzzles, scrabble, music and garden sessions, cooking and baking.
“I quite like little jokes, cracker jokes, I find them funny,” said Julie.
“I tell residents them and they really love it. I tease them and say if you are good I will give you another joke later.
“We have people here with dementia and even if they don’t get it I still involve them; if they can see that people are laughing they laugh too and it makes them happy.”
Although she has plenty of jokes to create the pamphlet Julie needs help with the design and hopes it will raise money for the residents fund.
Here are some more jokes to be featured in the pamphlet:
“Two men pinched a calendar in court, the judge gave them six months.”
“A man went to the doctors and said I can’t stop singing the green grass of home, doctor said you’ve got the Tom Jones syndrome, the patient said is that common? The doctor replied, it’s not unusual.”
If you would like to help Julie design the pamphlet please contact St Wilfrids on 01524 811 229.