Adultery review: Dominic Cooper stars in a pot-boiler of a drama that will simply get switched off
We're all being watched these days, what with mobile phone tracking apps, CCTV everywhere and even our doorbells keeping a close on eye on our every move, which makes things incredibly difficult for the illicit lovers in new drama Adultery (ITV, Sun/Mon, 9pm).
As this soapy snog-fest showed, you can't even have can't even get your leg over in your dead friend's now-empty house without something being caught on camera.
And that's without your son and his girlfriend – who just happens to be the daughter of your fellow adulterer – turning up at the house intent on a bit of Netflix and chill.
But a deceased bestie's old house is at least a step up from an alleyway or a car or a coldly-sterile GP surgery, which is where Beth (Romola Garai) and Tom (Dominic Cooper) had previously conducted their illicit assignations.
And all this after Beth, distracted by a phone call from her teenage son, had knocked dishy doc Tom off his bike. This has caused enough of an injury to warrant a trip to A&E, but two episodes in, it certainly doesn't seem to have put much of a crimp in Tom and Beth's affair.
Following this meet-cute, Tom and Beth discover the link between their children and empathise over the perils of running a small business.
Before you know it, they're having a snog, then vowing to “put it back in the box”, then having another snog in a different location.
Meanwhile, Beth's stereotypically northern layabout husband Neil (Matthew McNulty) is facing a court appearance for assault, Tom's wife Hannah (Shelly Conn) is struggling with her mental health and their children Ollie and Jess are bunking off school for a day trip to Blackpool.
Which, in this leafy corner of Anytown, Northern England, is the height of teenage rebellion.
It's all terrifically soapy, with each part before an ad break introducing another plot point, usually involving a different family member, another crumbling relationship or a further legal problem.
No one seems to be able to make an adult decision, whether that's Neil visiting the victim of assault on the advice of his well-off sister-in-law, or Tom's brother asking for medical advice on behalf of his pregnant mistress.
Every move they make seems only to another lump of meat to the stew, where it boils and boils before eventually falling apart.
Creator and writer Danny Brocklehurst has a track record with these dramas about the love lives of northern folk – including Ordinary Lies – and it's all fairly serviceable.
But there are some odd lapses. He gives Beth plenty of reasons to want an affair – the emotionally unavailable husband, more interested in snooker and a pint than his marriage, the teenage kids growing more and more distant, the loss of her best friend coming hard on the heels of the loss of her business.
Frankly, it's a surprise she hasn't gone off with the first bloke she sees in search of a emotional and physical boost to her life.
But it's less clear what gives Tom the impetus to suddenly throw his life – and the lives of his family – in the air.
He has a lovely home, nice kids who are clearly not going off the rails, a decent job. And his beard is barely even flecked with grey.
And it's made worse by the fact that his wife Hannah had experienced mental health problems, and he seems to brush them off as being barely worth considering.
It throws huge amounts of plot at the screen, with friends and family popping in and out of the drama as and when it needs a bit of a pep.
While so far it all seems rather like an episode of Cold Feet without the jokes, or the heart.
Finally, with Beth and Tom's affair caught on the infernal doorbell, the spectre of blackmail rears its ugly head, which just might be the plot straw that breaks the camel's back.
At least we can switch Adultery off.