Viz favourite Male Online takes to the stage

Britain’s leading Daily Mail reader will celebrate the resounding victory of Theresa May and outline the threat young people pose to our future in Liverpool on July 27.

The Male Online’s friend and manager, Preston-based Barney Farmer, explained why the show was visiting a city which last month overwhelmingly backed Labour.

“The Male Online considers himself very much in the position of a missionary,” said Barney.

“Last month he was the toast of Bloomsbury, having shown London’s Liberal Elite the error of their ways, and so Liverpool, a Trotskyite hotbed, seemed a natural choice for the next event.

“As an outspoken Christian he is always happiest in the lions’ den.”

But didn’t most of the Christians get torn to pieces?

“Yes. History, however, definitely remembers them as occupants of the moral high ground, which is probably why we enjoy seeing lions in circuses and zoos to this day.

“The people of Liverpool might well choose to eat The Male Online, but they should know that any martyrdom will play directly into his hands.

“His wife Beryl is equally unfazed at this likely outcome.”

The Male Online: Strong & Stable promises an evening of film, music and common-sense politics at The Vines on Thursday from 7pm.

Tickets £6, concs £5, booking fee 50p, at www.wegottickets.com/event/409721