I never can resist The Apprentice.
Now in its 12th year, the show hasn’t seen a lot of changes in its format - but judging by the wobbly performances of some contestants, you’d think they’d never watched it before.
With a remarkable 18 candidates jostling for Lord Sugar’s ear, and £250,000 of towards a business plan, the first task got off to a noisy start with everyone trying to get their tuppence-worth in.
The first clue as to just how hapless the boys’ team was going to be was it took them about an hour to pick a team name (Vitality - isn’t that a sunflower spread?)
Challenged with making and selling burgers, the girls were already at the butcher buying cheap chicken while the lads were still dithering. The lasses decided to sell their burgers to City traders at Canary Wharf - but blundering candidate Siobhan set mentor Karren Brady’s sexist radar ringing by suggesting a certain feminine charm was needed to approach businessmen. Cue much back-pedalling from Siobhan and a death stare from Brady.
Meanwhile, the boys eventually made it out of the kitchen door at 1.30pm with a handful of buffalo burgers - and were somehow amazed they’d missed the lunch-time trade at Brixton market. It only got worse when they discovered they couldn’t call their ropey turkey burgers ‘organic’ and had to scribble out all the labels in ink. The girls had an easy ride to victory as Vitality ended up losing money, and PM Danny was first for the boot.
It’s always hard to pick a standout candidate in week one but Bolton businesswoman Michaela seemed to have her head screwed on (and fantastic specs to rival Deirdre Barlow’s).