Ward bed reveals value of NHS

Hospitals are pretty scary places at 3am, especially when you’re surrounded by ill people who spend the night making noises from your worst nightmare.

Thursday, 18th July 2019, 7:36 am
Updated Thursday, 18th July 2019, 8:36 am

High strength prescription painkillers help, of course, but even 20ml of oral morphine can only take away the physical pain, it can’t do anything to stop the old boy in the next bed wailing all night.

The surgery to repair yours truly’s broken and dislocated elbow and shattered wrist – caused by a biking accident – took almost twice as long as expected last Saturday, but the surgeon seemed happy with the results.

DaughtersNo.1 and No.2 were regular and welcome visitors to Ward 35 at the Royal Lancaster Infirmary over the weekend, our eldest popping in to show her face with what looked like world record-sized eyelashes on her way into town for a night out.

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But visiting times are weird, aren’t they? Patients look forward to them like Christmas morning, it’s a reminder of what it feels like to be in the land of the living, even though if you’re not careful you run out of things to say after two minutes.

So the onus is on you to come up with something interesting to talk about.

This column is a massive fan of nurses. They are your friends and if you treat them with the respect they deserve they will go to the ends of the Earth for you, or at least to the store cupboard to fetch you a cardboard bottle to pee in.

Hospital stays are all about the little victories, and that first dam busting wee-wee after coming round from a general anaesthetic is one of life’s true pleasures.

From a prone position in an adjustable bed it’s plain to see how the NHS has been stripped to the bone by this government, ready for the sell-off of its most profitable bits.

It’s criminal, the NHS is the last great thing about this country. And when it’s gone, it’s gone.

And when we’re in the hands of profiteering US medical firms, if you think this country’s screwed now, wait til your insurance company is more concerned with making money than caring for you and your kids.