November 2016 the month in which Donald Trump was voted in as POTUS and as a mum of two under three discovered I would never again spend £28 on a lipstick.
Facebook memories how they come back to remind us of all our not so favourite days and most spectacular parenting fails too....
As happened to me when the ‘on this day’ popped up in the feed.
Yes it was this particular day having falsely convinced myself the children were playing nicely, I set about catching up on a few chores, putting the dinner on, throwing a wash in, I might even have dared to boil up the kettle for a cuppa.
The winning afternoon very quickly turned sour.
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then it is just suspicious.
I’m not sure what I was expecting when the cry came of ‘mummy, mummy just come and see.’
It was certainly not two totally neon pink covered faces thanks to the award winning long last wear Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Pur Couture.
Not content in making up her own face, the then three-year-old had been sure to include the baby in the fun - marvellous.
Oh how I’d laughed at all those video montages of unfortunate parents who had been confronted with the aftermath of their toddler giving themselves an all over wash in Sudocrem or walking in on their kids helpfully taking to painting every surface and themselves with the white gloss.
And one of my personal favourites was the little girl who had drawn perfect stripes all over her younger sibling with a sharpie because she much rather preferred a pet zebra to a brother - who could blame her?
It’s just never quite as funny when it happens to you.
The repeat of the word ‘why’ was about all I could muster for the hour I attempted to scrub them raw only to leave them red and tinged pink around the scalp for the next week.
The video is now a favourite among friends and family, the consolation being those people who had similar stories to share and no doubt it will come in useful for one of those far-off milestone birthdays.
Not surprisingly the prize lipstick is not the only victim from the once precious and well loved make-up case, from the days I used to hand back all my Boots wages in my dinner hour.
The bronzer, eyebrow cream and the eye shadows have all been tried and tested, as the nearly six-year-old has more time on her hands than me these days to make use of it.
It seems the two will also continue to try and test me too - there is a firm top twenty in the #parentingfail hall of fame now.
The most recent walking the eldest into her gymnastic lesson and discovering on return to the locked car in front of the building the four-year-old had gone ‘missing.’
Frantically searching the empty car, whilst recruiting fellow parents for a search party, I had 999 on dial when his head popped out from where he’d wedged himself under the front passenger seat for a game of ‘hide and seek’.
This occasion I was glad the response was not on film.