Santa, have you tried Slimming World?

Aasma Day, Lancashire Evening Post Health Correspondent
Aasma Day, Lancashire Evening Post Health Correspondent
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From pleas for batteries to obesity concerns – Father Christmas gets it all in his letters

There’s always a real smartie pants who has a clever answer or question for everything isn’t there?

Father Christmas

Father Christmas

For instance, we’ve all heard about the tale about the man who is offered the chance of having three wishes granted by a magic genie and for his third wish asks for another three wishes.

The subject of the hilarious things children write on their Christmas lists to Santa got me thinking about this and a particularly resourceful child’s request had me chuckling.

“Dear Father Christmas” he wrote. “Please can you get me an extension to our house this Christmas. That way, I’ll have lots more room for lots more toys.”

He’s not daft that kid is he?

A friend had me in stitches when she told me about what her little girl had written in an indignant letter to Mr Claus last year.

“Dear Father Christmas. Please can you bring me lots of presents? But this time, will you remember to bring batteries as well as last year I couldn’t play with any of my new toys on Christmas Day as you forgot the batteries and Mummy and Daddy didn’t have any. I think Boots have some on buy one get one free.”

Our son and daughter penned their letters to the beardy one recently and before posting them off to their North Pole destination, Hubby and I had a good read and laugh at them.

The difference between boys and girls also made us smile after we read Yasmin’s list in beautiful calligraphy- style writing in different coloured pens, spanning three sheets of A4, compared to Cameron’s concise one sheet of A4, listing everything in a numbered list.

It finished off with a suck-up to Santa by signing off: “Please may you get these things! Your thankfulness. From Cameron Zack Day.”

The items on each of their lists varied from the simple and ordinary to the fanciful and extravagant.

Both of them have requested a new school bag … probably after their complaints that they feel their current ones are too babyish.

Yasmin, who seems to have inherited my avidness for reading, has listed enough books to open up her own library. I’m sure Father Christmas will want to encourage reading and will bring her as many of those as he can.

Some of the other smaller items the pair of them have listed include things like CDs, goalkeepers gloves, board games and different kinds of rubbers.

However, somehow I don’t think Santa is going to bring them a laptop, DVD player and an iPad.

Not unless he wants to bring me a winning lottery ticket first.

You see, we have explained to our children that Mummy and Daddy have to send Santa the money to buy the presents and if he thinks they deserve them, he will buy them and deliver them on Christmas Day.

It is lovely to see their conviction in Father Christmas – despite some of their disbelieving friends, usually those who have an older sibling – voicing their doubts that the big man actually exists.

One friend tells me her son is trying to test her as, when she asked him if he had done his Christmas list, he told her yes, he’d done it.

When she asked where it was, he airily told her: “YOU don’t need to see it. It’s to Santa and no one else is allowed to look at it but him.”

One child even voiced his scepticism in his letter to Father Christmas by telling him: “My friends don’t believe you are real, but I do.

“Please can you leave me a photo of yourself at my house dropping off my presents and sign it so I can prove to them that you are real.”

Another letter by one little girl made me giggle as she expressed her concern that Santa might be too fat to get down their chimney.

She wrote: “Have you tried going on a diet as it can’t be good for you being so fat? Have you tried Slimming World? It worked for Mummy.”

It’s not just children who can write Christmas lists – grown ups can have their wish list for Santa too.

My ultimate favourite has to be the letter from one woman who wrote: “Dear Santa. This year, please can you give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. And try your hardest not to get those two mixed up like you did last year.”

Funny – Father Christmas mixed those two up for me last year too!