Who's the Daddy: Relaxing break thanks to dad

So the prodigal daughter has returned home for Christmas, freshly liberated from her student house during the six-day, state-backed mass evacuation.

Saturday, 12th December 2020, 12:30 pm
Who is the Daddy

The one she’d missed the most was the dog, and once she’d fussed over him, got him all giddy and had her fill of roast dinner (requested by her, cooked by me) she announced she was bored.

It turns out quiet family homes aren’t as exhilarating as student houses filled with vibrant twentysomethings. For starters, in the real world, we don’t keep the hours and lifestyle of a nocturnal alley cat. Those of us who have to get up for work of a morning need a few hours’ shut-eye. But students, with their exhausting 11-hour weeks, think nothing of calling it a night at roughly the same time our alarm clocks go off. Of course, there’s a perfectly good reason why middle-aged family men don’t live the undergraduate lifestyle, it would kill us stone dead three days into freshers’ week.

So it’s no surprise that it takes a few days of readjustment before students’ body clocks wind down to run at the same speed as the rest of the family. A bit like jet lag but with loads more complaining. When daughter #1 acted out as a little kid, the boss took her pencil case off her. That worked like a charm aged five, but now she’s 21, not so much.

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Family homes aren’t like student houses in so many ways. For starters, there isn’t a piece of stereo equipment in every room that’s so powerful it’ll loosen your bowels.

There are advantages of spending the Christmas holidays sleeping in your childhood bedroom though. First up, you don’t have to write your name on your food in the communal fridge.

Secondly, daughter #1 was most looking forward to not having to cook every meal she ate. That’s my job now, apparently.

Students coming home for the holidays is almost like the detox at a rural retreat that rock bands go on after a gruelling European tour. Joking aside, it’s good to have daughter #1 back for a bit.

Let’s see if she feels the same way after a few weeks living with the most boring people on Earth - us.