Who's the Daddy: 'My 10 Commandments of life'

Here’s a few things I wish someone had told me when I was our daughters’ age.

Saturday, 30th May 2020, 12:30 pm
Who's the Daddy?

1. Save - and then invest - 20 per cent of your salary every month. Do this on payday. Once you get into the habit you won’t even notice it’s gone. A tax-free stocks and shares ISA is an excellent home for it. Start when you’re 18 and thanks to the wonders of compound interest, by the time you get to my age you’ll be stinking rich.

2. Once you’ve invested it, you can do a KLF and set fire to the other 80 per cent for all I care. The money you invest, over time, will mean you can jack in work while you’ve still got some life in you instead of grafting until the day you die. Real freedom is in your wallet.

3. Don’t spend more than you earn. This is important. My bank has made a fortune out of me in overdraft fees and interest in the past 30 years. You can do this by not blowing your wages on stupid nonsense. Like I did. Apart from 90s vinyl. By sheer dumb luck, most of that’s worth five to 10 times what I paid for it.

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4. The state is not your friend. Don’t expect the government to take care of you, they only look after their own, as the Dominic Cummings fiasco exposed. It’s one rule for them (which they bend to suit their needs) and another for the likes of you and me.

5. Never do something you’re good at for free. If someone asks you to work for “exposure” tell them to take a running jump.

6. Keep hold of the friends from your youth for as long as you can. When you get older, they’ll remind you who you are.

7. Unless they’re written down and signed by both parties, promises mean nothing.

8. Ration the sauce. It’s called the demon drink for a reason. And don’t smoke. It’s a very expensive way of getting cancer.

9. Dress how you like, say what you want. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

10. Watch your back. Literally. Do Pilates. You may have inherited my glass spine.

Stay fit, flexible and look after your core. Back injuries are nobody’s idea of a good time.