Who's the Daddy: Children let down by system

But it has helped some people realise their dreams, for instance those who wondered what it would be like to be a central character in a dystopian sci-fi movie.

It’s the kids I feel sorry for. These are supposed to be their golden years, not the sequel to V For Vendetta.

It’s hard enough being a teenager at the best of times. At school they’re taught a load of pointless rubbish they’ll never need in adulthood, to pass exams most employers couldn’t give a stuff about. Because that’s what school does really, moulds kids into compliant employees who turn up on time and get the job done.

Just enough brains to work the machinery but not the nous to work out they make the owner twice as much as what they pay them.

I’m sure teachers would rather teach our kids how to think for themselves, show them how to be financially independent in their 50s and instil a love of fitness and healthy eating so they can live long, happy lives. What if our kids were taught how to start and run a successful business, saved and invested 20 per cent of everything they earned from age 18, ran, walked or danced for an hour every day and learned to cook tasty, nutritious meals for £30 a week that don’t actively contribute to Type 2 diabetes.

We’d have a country full of healthy, capitalist, libertarian free-thinkers with a life expectancy of 100 who were mortgage-free and comfortably retired by middle-age.

Instead of which, thousands of primary school kids have the same stress levels as a Spitfire pilot in an aerial dogfight because some government dimwit decided little Timmy should know what a subordinate clause is.

Do you know what a subordinate clause is? I think I do, only because I’ve an English degree and have been a journalist for 28 years. What business has an eight-year-old knowing about advanced syntactic analysis? Why are we filling kids’ heads with such rubbish so they feel like failures when they don’t get it? You’re not supposed to have a mid-life crisis until you hit your 40s, don’t you think Year 4’s a bit early to be having work-related panic attacks?

These are supposed to be their golden years, not the sequel to V For Vendetta.