Choice of Honey Monster or Child Catcher
It's the EU referendum this time next week '“ and if we've learned anything during the campaign it's this, politicians will tell us anything to win an election.
Prime Minister David Cameron and the rest of his ‘Remain’ cohorts have spent the past few weeks trying to scare the bejesus out of anyone who’ll listen about the horrors which await should we vote to leave the EU.
He’s threatened us with a war in Europe, told little old ladies their pensions will be cut and said the monsters under our beds will come and get us in the night.
But Dave’s partner in crime, Chancellor George Osborne, is no better. His latest wheeze, in the event of a Brexit vote, is to threaten a two per cent rise in income tax, a £2.5bn cut to the NHS budget, and cut defence and education spending by £1.2bn and £1.15bn – something the Tories neglected to mention in their manifesto.
For a man who looks more like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you’d think he’d have enough on his plate.
But no, around 60 Tory MPs have said they’ll vote down their party’s own budget which would bring down the Government before our eyes.
There’s no denying it’s been a hoot watching the Government tear itself apart over Brexit but it’s hard to know which side to support during the campaign.
As a Manchester United fan, it’s been like seeing Liverpool and Man City fighting it out for the Premier League title.
While Cameron and Osborne have waffled and spun their way through it all, there don’t appear to be any white knights in the ‘Leave’ campaign to fill us with much (any) confidence at all.
There’s Michael Gove who, during his time as Education Secretary, seemed to go out of his way to antagonise and humiliate the people who teach our children how to read, write and do sums.
And alongside him there’s Boris Johnson, a man who looks like the Honey Monster who’s let himself go after a particularly brutal divorce.
The thing is, if both sides had treated us like adults and stuck to the facts, we’d all have a lot more respect for them.
As it is, I cannot remember a time when the reputation of politicians was at such a low ebb.
I know it goes against nature, but just tell us the truth.