All change for lovers of Liverpool

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It turns out our family’s plan to move lock, stock and barrel to Liverpool by stealth is now 50 per cent complete.

Regular readers, hello mum, will recall daughter #2 has been at LIPA Sixth Form in Liverpool, where she’s training to be an actress, since September. And it looks like daughter #1 will be joining her next autumn after she got a place at the University Of Liverpool last week to study law.

Pushy, confident, argumentative and always with one eye on the best deal possible, she’s a natural born barrister if ever I saw one. A cross between Breaking Bad’s slippery lizard in a tin Saul Goodman and Better Call Saul’s world’s clearest thinker, Kim Wexler.

You can take the girl out of Liverpool but you can’t take Liverpool out of the girl, so they say, and the boss is beyond thrilled that our daughters will be spending their youth in her city.

I know what you’re thinking, and we thought it too. Instead of throwing money away on two lots of rent every month for years, buy a little apartment and let them pay the bulk of the mortgage instead. We floated that and, to be honest, there’s more chance of Sir Alex Ferguson coming out of retirement to manage Liverpool FC.

“I’m not living with her,” they both said. “I’m living in halls in my first year then I’m living with my friends,” said an indignant daughter #1.

So that was the end of that. Instead we’re stuck in the middle of student finance hell, where daughter #1’s student loan covers around two-thirds of her rent. And that’s it. Nothing else. No living costs. Nothing. The balance is made up by the magic money tree in the Bank Of Mum And Dad’s back garden.

And that’s before annual tuition fees of £9,250 for around 10 hours a week contact time, basically a long day at the office. Nice work if you can get it. Don’t get me started on this. I could fill the paper with my rage on the subject.

The boss’ family still live in Liverpool and once the kids have flown the nest (back to Liverpool), it’s only the boss’ job as the best teacher in the city’s finest primary school that’s keeping us here. Yours truly’s day job is south of Preston and I couldn’t give a hoot where I live as long as she’s happy.