There's no way to say this without it sounding overtly strange, but an eight-bedroom four-story 13th century manor house formerly owned by a Lancastrian poet who not only wrote one of the country's most famous hymns but also coined the phrase 'Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum', is up for sale.
Available to anyone with a cool £1.45m burning a hole in their cavernous pockets, Byrom Manor is comfortably one of the country's most historic homes, boasting not only a history which dates back to an era when Ghengis Khan was still at his marauding best, but a decidedly high-end literary lineage as Mancunian poet John Byrom's ancestral home.
Located on the outskirts of Warrington, the detached farmhouse property was rebuilt in the 1700s and at one time - although sadly no longer, alas - included a splendid moat. It was around the 18th century that it became the manor house of the Byroms themselves, with young John eventually growing extremely famous for penning 'Christians awake! Salute the happy morn', the Anglican hymn version of a 21st century banger supposedly written as a Christmas gift for his daughter.
While, somewhat understandably, the property's 800-year-old features have not survived the ensuing almost-millennium, a range of comparably adolescent yet still extremely ancient constructs survive to this day, including the home's 20 stables, feed shed, and tack room, all happily updated from their archaic origins to boast modern wonders such as in-built water and electricity.
A famous friend of journalists the world over for his invention of a form of shorthand, John Byrom's family home is ironically anything but brief. Featuring a total of 23 rooms spread across four floors, Byrom Manor boasts an eye-boggling eight bedrooms - some of which you may want to convert into something else lest every single one of your mates decides to move in - three reception rooms, a family breakfast kitchen-cum-diner, and two swanky bathrooms.
Grand from the start, the house is accessed via an extensive gravelled driveway leading up to the automatic entrance gates, with the entrance featuring a wooden front door with original leaded window above, welcoming anyone caught in the rain through into the living room where an exposed brick inglenook fireplace complete with wood burning stove and tiled hearth await for a spot of warming the core and getting the feeling back into those digits.
Wet clothes discarded, the home's main bathroom offers a shivering occupant access to an extremely welcoming four-piece suite including a walk-in multi-jet shower cubicle and steamer and a corner Jacuzzi bath in which to soak amongst the suds as the property's roomy 12.5 acres of land - in which sit rolling private enclosed gardens and a courtyard - get a good watering.
Happily warmed on the outside, grab a dressing gown and head down to the kitchen - complete with roll top work surfaces, a breakfast island, and a number of integrated appliances - for a cuppa before taking your pick of one of the bedrooms for a welcome snooze. Four of them even come with nifty in-built sinks, while two even go as far as to have their own showers.
I did warn you that this was a one-in-a-million kinda house.
For more information, head to https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/34510840?search_identifier=775a1ebd6df3833f053d300cfcea4c1f