ITV's pothole programme wasn't all it's cracked up to be
Apparently, Lancashire is the pothole capital of the north '“ the county council has to tackle 4,000 of them a month, even the ones that look like Sir Paul McCartney.
And, thanks to Pothole Britain: Warning Roadworks! (ITV, Tuesday, 9pm), hole-aphiles had an entire hour of hot pothole action to enjoy.
The jokey voiceover attempted to inject some drama into film of men in orange hi-vis pouring asphalt into holes, while plinky-plonky music burbled in the background – you know the type of thing, usually used to soundtrack a comically obese person waddling down a street in a 1970s sitcom.
Meanwhile, Dorset resurfacers Glen and Chutney attempted to out-Wurzel each other, and the Mayor of Brackley revealed his pothole fighting alter ego, Mr Pothole.
The thing is – as our Facebook page would attest – potholes are a major issue.
Our roads are in a worse state than Ecuador’s. The man from the Asphalt Industry Alliance (I know! Who knew?) said it would take 14 years to bring Britain’s roads up to councils’ own targets.
Meanwhile, there are cyclists being injured, cars being damaged and climate change is only going to make things worse.
So why have this superficial sub-Driving School, fly-on-the-wall, nonsense at all? Because it’s easy, that’s why. We’re never going to solve out pothole problem, so why bother trying? Let’s just shrug our shoulders, sigh, and say “ah well never mind. Ooh... isn’t that Paul McCartney?”’.
Panorama: Takeaway Secrets Exposed (BBC1, Monday, 8.30pm) put me right off my tikka masala, and should trouble councils across the nation as Just Eat and Deliveroo flex their muscles.
Cold Feet (ITV, Mondays, 9pm) is back, and – finally – they have accepted James Nesbitt’s Adam is now too old to be a lothario. Seeing how he copes with the realisation should keep you watching.