Time to dust down your holiday phrase book

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If you have just been/are about to go on holiday this summer, here’s a list of things you probably said/will say if you have gone/are going away with your teenage kids.

I just want to get my bearings.

Ooh, that breeze is lovely. I don’t feel like I’ve landed yet. Your shoulders are a bit pink. I could get used to this sun.

Will you two stop arguing, this is our holiday too. Stop pulling that face.

We’ve spent a lot of money to bring you on holiday, you could at least look like you’re enjoying it.

You’re doing GCSE Spanish/French/Italian/German, why don’t you speak it while we’re here?

The heat’s gone out of the day now. You know what, I reckon I could live out here. Oh my God, I’ve got panda eyes.

Can you stop saying every single thought that comes into your head. You do know people can hear you, don’t you?

Look at the colour of that sky. Look at the colour of that sea.

I’m zonked, I’m not used to this heat.

Ooh, that sea’s not as warm as it looks.

Why does every day out end with us walking for miles in no particular direction whatsoever?

I told you it was that way.

Hooray! I found the supermarket.

Top class Rioja for less than four quid a bottle and Estrella for 40p a bottle.

We are being robbed blind back in England.

You’re on the beach, stop staring at your phone all day. What do you mean there’s wi-fi? What, there’s wi-fi on the beach?

It’s how much for a sun lounger? I want to rent four sun beds and a parasol for the afternoon, not buy your whole business off you.

I don’t like the look of those clouds.

Ow, that sand’s too hot.

Hey, blue sky again. Hope it’s raining back home.

Are you actually going to drink all that beer?

Will you rub sun cream on my back please?

Ow, not too hard, I’m not made out of play-doh.

And be careful with that bit, I burned a bit yesterday.

You could at least try eating some paella, it’s not poison.

Doughnuts, for breakfast?

There’s all the fresh fruit in the world there.

Why don’t you eat some of that?