This new year, I’m looking to pile on those pounds

Ted Robbins
Ted Robbins
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Our Ted makes a New Year resolution he’s pretty certain to keep and tries to remember New Year celebrations past

Another new year looms, and with it, those resolutions!

When asked about mine, I always say it’s to try and gain a few pounds, as I’m worried I’m wasting away.

For those who are fortunate enough not to know me in the flesh, put it this way – Jonathan Ross once described me as: “A well-covered man”.

Chris Tarrant claimed on the radio that I had “never missed a dinner in my life”, and Joe Pasquale says the two words I never learned were: “I’m full”.

Oh yes, I’ve been insulted by the best.

Looking back on New Years past, some of the best have been held the furthest north you go in our fair land – and by that I mean Scotland.

Just why is it that the Scots love Hogmanay so much?

I recall one panto season in Glasgow where we danced to Jimmy Shand, ate neeps and tatties, along with the obligatory haggis (freshly shot in the Highlands that morning), and had more than a few drams of the water of life – whisky to us Sassenachs.

It was such a good do that I remember waking on January 1 thinking: “What a great night”… except it was January 2!

For me – and most people involved in a panto, or indeed for anyone working in a proper, important job – New Year’s Eve is just another night.

For the emergency services, it’s a tougher one than most, but deep down for all of us it is a time to reflect on the year and years past, on absent friends and times still to come. Out with the old, on with the new…

I hope your new year brings your heart’s desire, and, as Spike Milligan said, I wish you “Light, Love and Peace”.

For the sake of Auld Lang Syne!