On his most recent tour, Frankie Boyle spoke about how some people base their travel reviews on the price of alcohol.
So here goes.
Our family spent three days in London last week and I got charged £8 for a bottle of Peroni in a restaurant in Holborn.
The following night we went to see the wonderful musical Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre where a bottle of Sol set me back £5.90.
When the barman asked if I wanted a slice of lime in it, I said no because I thought he might charge me.
But moaning about London prices is as pointless as whingeing about the state of Lancaster’s traffic (which is about the same as Westminster’s – walking pace).
Everything costs a bit more but when you’re marching around what is essentially the world’s largest open air museum then you have to just suck it up.
Even our teenage daughters were impressed, and they could feign boredom at the Second Coming.
We saw everything it was possible to see from an open top bus, a cruise up the Thames and from the London Eye.
You get an amazing view of the whole city when you’re 443ft above it – so they tell me, because I’m terrified of heights and had my eyes screwed shut for most of the 30 minute spin.
The only reason I agreed to go on it was daughter #1 wanted to and the boss and daughter #2 are more scared of heights than me.
Daughter #1 loved it and took loads of pictures of the skyline – and of yours truly, head bowed, thinking happy thoughts while gripping the bench like it was a life raft.
Once back on solid ground we saw all the sights again, but this time on foot.
We walked about eight miles a day and nobody moaned.
Despite seeing St Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower of London, the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Tower Bridge, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace and the delights of the Tube (Londoners really do have sharp elbows and no patience), the thing our daughters were most impressed by was seeing the restaurant where the reality TV show First Dates is filmed.
And seeing it is a mere 50-yard walk from the steps of the magnificent St Paul’s, then that’s some statement.