No clamour for glamour in great outdoors

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First came glamping, now we witness the rise of the glamavan - forgive me nature lovers, but I’m still not convinced.

Rewind a few years, and the word camping conjured up a very clear image; plastic tent, broken poles, uneven ground, foul-smelling sleeping bag and beans out of a tin. Caravans wouldn’t have fared much better but with a slightly sturdier roof.

Both residing firmly in ‘the great outdoors’ category. Translation: cold, wet and with no running water or electricity.

I’m well aware this view may paint me as something of a princess - not wanting to get my hair wet without the assurance of straighteners on hand to sort me out - and perhaps that’s partly the case. When yours truly goes on holiday, she wants someone waiting on her. Beds made, breakfast cooked, bar tender on hand. A little luxury away from the humdrum of everyday life. Is this possible within a two-man tent? Inside a mobile vehicle?

When a friend told me she was going to a hen party in York, I was all smiles and excitement. Until she mentioned the main thrust of the weekend... Glamping. A term coined in recent years to describe ‘glamorous camping.’ An ill fitting juxtaposition if ever there was one.

Oh no, she said, this is completely different. Chalets replace tents, showers come as standard and cooking equipment is included in the package.

That may be, but when Wellingtons, rubber gloves and washing up liquid still need to be packed, forgive me, but it’s not much of a weekend break in my book.

And the same applies to overnight accommodation on wheels.

Caravanning just got cool, or so I read this week. Coincidentally or not, on the same day Wayne and Colleen Rooney were reported to be looking into buying a static home in North Wales. Glammavaning (I wish I was making this up) is replacing holidays abroad, as people scramble for spots on caravan parks - the most popular of which have longer waiting lists than some swanky private members clubs.

Back to basics, they say. Pared-down living. One with nature. A new adventure.

Sounds very much like what parents were claiming back in the day, to convince kids a week in Bognor Regis was a good thing. I didn’t buy it then, and I shan’t buy it now. Holidays are coming. And so is the hotel booking.