Looking good on the dancefloor

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We’ve had a few arguments about music in our house over the past few weeks.

Daughter #1’s wireless speaker pumps out its “whumph, whumph, whumph” from her room that sounds like a ship’s engine, but that isn’t the main issue. Like most dads who think they’re doing a good deed for their children, it blows up in our faces in spectacular fashion.

One morning last October, tickets went on sale for Kraftwerk. And then a month later tickets went on sale for Radiohead. And yours truly thought, “Daughter #1 likes going to gigs. Kraftwerk and Radiohead are two of the best bands ever. I know, I’ll get tickets and we’ll go together.”

As anyone who tried (and failed) to get tickets for these shows will tell you, they sell out in two minutes flat – and then miraculously appear on secondary ticketing sites such as Viagogo, at six or seven times face value.

For instance, a £75 Kraftwerk ticket is “only” £572 on Viagogo and a Radiohead ticket with the same face value is going for anywhere between £305.10 and £483.97. Everyone knows what’s going on but very little is being done to put a stop to what is fundamentally touting.

But come the morning of the ticket sales, I elbowed my way to the front and bagged a pair for each show at face value. Hurrah for dad, or so you’d think.

When I told daughter #1 the good news, I was expecting a reaction like you see on Disneyland adverts on TV when the parents tell their kids that’s where they’re going on holiday.

Instead I got this: “Why would I want to go and see Radiohead? All their songs are really depressing. And Kraftwerk? That just sounds like a load of old robots.”

So I laid it on with a trowel. “You know The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Prince, The Stone Roses? Well they are like that. All the bands you like have nicked their act from Radiohead and Kraftwerk. And they’ll probably be in the audience next to us.”

It did the trick, mainly because when she was 13 I got us a pair of Arctic Monkeys tickets which she turned her nose up at.

So me and the boss went instead and she’s regretted it ever since.