Forget Star Wars, it’s Car Wars

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A long time ago (1994) in a galaxy far, far away (Barrow-in-Furness) a driving test got fluked with a first-time pass which shocked and amazed everybody involved.

Fast forward to 2017 and forget Star Wars, we’ve got Car Wars in our house as history looks set to repeat itself as 17-year-old daughter #1 closes in on her driving test after she aced her theory exam.

Last week my mobile pinged with a text laced with emotional blackmail which read: “Instructor wants me to book my test. I’m repeating what he’s said here – I need more driving experience outside of driving lessons so he recommended provisional insurance.”

What are you meant to say to that? So a quick call to our insurance company, £50 extra a month on our premium and that music you can hear in the background is Darth Vader’s Imperial March music as daughter #1 and the boss battle for control of 
the boss’ little Mazda, which is a carbon copy of her 
instructor’s car.

Daughter #1 thinks on her feet, works out all the angles, plays them to her advantage and has a very short fuse. All I’ll say is this, the apple never falls too far from the tree. While the boss is a wonderful driver, she is a self-confessed terrible passenger. On a holiday to Germany’s spectacular Harz Mountains four years ago, she felt the need to sit on the back seat of our hired Volvo V40 wearing noise-cancelling headphones with her eyes shut as I slung a car with back-to-front controls around bendy right-hand roads through a forest. An unforgettable holiday, just not for all the right reasons.

So without wishing to undo four months of expensive driving lessons by pulling off-putting faces and letting out involuntary screams when daughter #1 stalls three times at the busiest set of traffic lights in town, stays in first gear for so long the engine whines like Concorde, and pulls out of left-hand junctions so far she’s facing oncoming traffic, the boss has left passenger/co-pilot duties to yours truly.

But now daughter #1 wants to be out driving ALL THE TIME in what the boss says is HER CAR THAT SHE’S PAID FOR. From where I’m sitting, it looks like the Empire’s about to strike back.