Festive quarrel on Bond Street

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If you’re reading this then you survived 2016, Christmas and New Year.

Pour yourself a stiff drink, sit back and savour every last drop because you’ve earned it.

The madness is over and you’ve come out the other side with a story to tell. Okay, so it might be a long, boring story about your relatives but look on the bright side, they’ve gone home now and with a bit of luck you won’t see them until Christmas 2017 unless one of them dies, gets married or has a baby.

Our daughters enjoyed spending time with us over the festive period so much that they both went to separate New Year’s Eve house parties.

Daughter #1 called it a night around 1.30am while daughter #2 pressed on until 5am.

We even had the first, “You’re not going out dressed like that” line from yours truly after daughter #1 posted a selfie on Facebook wearing a gold lamé vest and shorts combo that the girls at coke-fuelled disco bashes wore at Studio 54 in the late 1970s.

I was not happy, but by then it was too late. I don’t know what was most embarrassing for her, the fact her dad posted the most “dad” thing ever written for everyone to see or that someone in their late teens got caught using Facebook.

But we got through Christmas and New Year without any major fall-outs and temper tantrums.

To be fair a lot of that was because me and daughter #1 were out of the way for some of the time at work.

Let’s face it, if you’re stuck in a room with your relatives for days on end with nothing to do then it’s only a matter of time before historical arguments which have been simmering for decades rise to the surface – usually at the business end of a hard fought and bad-tempered game of Monopoly.

Honestly, all it takes is for someone to look at someone else a bit funny when they’ve landed on their Bond Street with three houses on it and all hell is unleashed.

That’s why most family board games, but Monopoly in particular because it’s all about money and nobody ever has enough, finish with the board thrown in the air and the pieces scattered so far and wide they still get vacuumed up at Easter.