‘Bigfoot’ returns as the sunshine comes out

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The capital has been bathed in sunshine this week, and we all know what a change in the weather means... A change in wardrobe.

Well, so I thought, as I pulled the short-sleeves from the back of the draw. Though not everyone was doing the same.

There’s something wonderful about the time of year when you see couples who look like they dressed on different hemispheres; woman in boots, parka and scarf; man proudly showing off his legs in shorts and sandals. How quaint we English are.

But as I say, for myself at least the presence of sun heralded a change to last season’s office attire. An enjoyable experience, until I reached the lower-most part of my body, and the lifelong problem returned; what can I put on those feet?

If it was socially acceptable (and/or hygienic I should probably add) one would be more than happy to go through life barefoot, donning a pair of flip flops for special occasions.

But alas, western etiquette dictates that we should cover our soles, even if they are a ‘monstrous’ size nine. That’s not my word by the way. Of course not. Rather that used by a journalist this week in an article about celebrities who suffer the same fate as myself. The hefty hoof.

‘March of the big foot celeb’ she wrote, in a piece that instantly made me feel worse about myself. ‘Why do so many women have such monster feet?’ she continued. Thanks. Sob.

One can only presume that the author boasts a ‘dainty’ – note her use of adjective here – size four foot, and so looks on in horror at anyone who has to walk further along the aisles in the shoe shop.

It was the appearance of Titanic (by which I mean the movie, not another reference to size) star Kate Winslet on the red carpet this week that prompted the piece, after the starlet stepped out in her ‘out-of-the ordinary’ size nines.

So out of the ordinary, that every time I try and buy a pair of shoes in said size they’re sold out. High demand I’m told. Hmmm, go figure.

Celebs who took a size seven were also included in the round up, which leaves me wondering what percentage of the population are safe. How many of us should keep our tootsies hidden until next September (ever the optimist) so not to scare away the little league? Dare I say it, there may be more of us monsters than those dainty folk. Let the foot-war commence.