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Mum hid babies heartache
Wendy Gibney became so used to the heartache of miscarriages that she would keep them secret to protect her loved ones.
Over a period of years the 37-year-old suffered seven miscarriages with each as traumatic as the other.
Wendy, of Fulwood, Preston, endured three before giving birth to her son Ryan , now 12, and miscarried another four times before having her second son Jamie, now eight.
Those miscarriages her family knew about she was unwilling to discuss as she did not want to upset others.
Now she has welcomed the creation of a Lancashire support group to help women who find themselves in the same position.
Wendy, who is a triage nurse at Euxton out-of-hours medical centre, as well as working as a community matron and a rapid response nurse, says that while she was reluctant to share her pain with loved ones, she would have welcomed the chance to talk to a stranger.
Wendy said: "For me, my miscarriages were not something I wanted to discuss with my friends and family as I did not want them to get distressed when they saw how upset I was.
"But if you talk to someone on the outside who has been through a similar experience, you are more likely to open up." However, when Wendy looked for support, she found there were no local organisations for women who had had miscarriages.
She has welcomed news of a Lancashire miscarriage organisation which has been set up by Ruth Snape after going through the trauma of a miscarriage.
Wendy said: "After a miscarriage, hormonally, you still feel pregnant and it is heartbreaking to feel like that knowing there is no baby. Even when time has gone by, you keep thinking about it and it is particularly difficult on what would have been the baby's due date."
Ruth, 28, who is a healthcare support worker in Leyland, went through the heartbreak of a miscarriage on Christmas Eve 2007.
Ruth, who is married to Andrew, said: "Andrew and I were delighted when we found out I was pregnant.
"In the early part of my pregnancy, I had a lot of pains, so I ended up having my first scan at eight weeks instead of 12.
"We told all our friends and family that I was pregnant after the scan and everyone was really happy. I would have been 12 weeks pregnant on the Christmas Day. But on the Christmas Eve, I experienced terrible pains and when I went to hospital, I found out the baby died at about eight-and-a-half weeks."
Ruth was grief-stricken and says the emotional heartache hit her worst about a month after the miscarriage. Ruth went on to have a successful pregnancy and gave birth to daughter Isobel, in January this year. Ruth said: "I was so worried throughout my pregnancy with Isobel and was anxious until the day she was born. Isobel is wonderful and we cannot believe she is here."
After realising there was no support locally for people who had suffered miscarriages, Ruth contacted the national Miscarriage Association and told them she wanted to set up a group.
After undergoing training, she launched the Lancashire Miscarriage Support Association, which meets fortnightly for informal meetings and offers support.
Ruth recently took part in a fancy dress Halloween party to boost funds for the organisation.
l For details about the Lancashire Miscarriage Support group, call Ruth Snape on: 07591 801937.
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Tuesday 07 February 2012
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