That's how comedian Rich Hall describes his new show, coming to Morecambe's Platform venue tomorrow night (September 25).
"Then after the interval, I bring out Otis Lee Crenshaw. Then for 45 minutes, I plink away at the piano and think, 'I can't believe I'm getting away with this!'"
American Rich, a regular visitor to Morecambe in recent years, has the rare distinction of performing brilliant stand-up shows in different two guises, both as himself and as Otis.
Described as "the poet laureate of trailer trash", Otis is an inspired piece of character comedy, which scooped the coveted Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Festival in 2000.
The ultimate comedy redneck, Otis is a raddled, bourbon-soaked jailbird from the Deep South who croons spoof country and western songs about desire, divorce and Death Row. Rich, 53, who has been a writer on two of America's top comedy programmes, 'Saturday Night Live' and 'The David Letterman Show', reckons that, the real reason people over here like Otis is that 'the Brits are drawn to flawed characters'.
"I won't call Otis a loser because he retains a shred of dignity, but he is definitely flawed.
"I'm a terrible singer, but that's perfect for Otis, he's not supposed to be talented. I don't want to be too good, that would spoil the effect!"
What sort of songs can we expect from Otis on this tour?
"They will be less prison-orientated," Rich reveals.
"One song is about trying to talk your girlfriend out of the Ku Klux Klan.
"Another song is about Scrabble and how you can tell if your woman is cheating on you by the words she uses when she's playing the game."
The show starts at 8pm.
Tickets cost £15 and are available from the box office on 01524 582803.

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